Pinned toot

Ultrasound technician: It looks like the gender is... uh...
Parents to be: What? What's the gender?
Technician, squinting at the display: That's my dad?!

"don't worry. we're not storing your password in plaintext. whenever we email you your password we actually use a rainbow table lookup to match your hashed password to one in the database. so it is still secure"

"password cannot contain special characters because it'll mess up the formatting when we send it to you in the confirmation email"

I've seen every one of these and they horrify me every time

things that make my trust in your website drop down a whole level:

- password field is maximum 8-15 characters
- passwords cannot contain some special characters
- password is included in confirmation email

"FOR YOUR CRIME OF COMMUNICATING INCORRECT INFORMATION," it continues, "YOU WILL BE ENROLLED IN A COMPULSORY TUNNEL PHYSICS HISTORY COURSE SPANNING THE REST OF YOUR NATURAL LIFE. HOW DO YOU PLEAD YOUR CASE?"

The ground begins to rumble.

"THAT IS INCORRECT" a voice booms.

Behind you is an 8 foot tall figure, glowing blue. On their chest in Helvetica is written "HISTORY."

"THE 90 TON LIQUID SCINTILLATION DETECTOR WAS PRESENT IN THE TUNNEL GARAGE BUT FAR AWAY FROM THE FIRE. THE DETECTOR'S FIRE SYSTEM DIDN'T EVEN ACTIVATE. THE FIRE HOWEVER MARKED THE END, AS THE EXPERIMENT CONCLUDED AT LEAST WITHIN THE MONTH." the figure exposits forcefully

(continued)

"Tunnel Physics Historian!" you say confidently.

"Oh golly!" exclaims the receptionist, "a real life tunnel physics historian! Oh would you please answer a question that has been bothering me? What ever happened to the 90 ton liquid scintillation detector under Mont Blanc in the 1990s? Was it destroyed in the fire?"

You check your cheatsheet with no speed of light delay.

"Not at all. It was removed years before." you say.

(continued)

"I have an appointment..?" you say, with 40% certainty.

"Oh, worch jorb?" he drawls

He nods knowingly. "We are both in the building." he says sagely.

You nod too. "The building is where we are." you echo, with wisdom beyond your years.

...Now what?

Ah yes, of course. That's the answer.

With all the answers completed, and your 27 100ths of a coffeeandortea slurped into oblivion, you leave the cafe establishment and head to the interview zone.

As you walk into the building, the secretary greets you. "Hello." he says, "This is a building. I'm in the building. Are you in this building?"

What do you say?

You write that down and go to the last one

420. What is blackle?

Oh this is a tough one

You jot down the answer and move onto the next question.

69. How many members of the Nelson and District Power Loom Weavers Trade Union were women in 1908?

You duck into a cafe and order 27% of a coffee and/or tea. After sitting down you take out your interview cheatsheet. Some of the answers haven't been completed yet. You take a look at the first uncompleted answer.

43. Was the liquid scintillation detector in the Mont Blanc laboratory affected by the 1999 tunnel fire, and if so, how?

You tried looking this up on wikipedia an hour ago but with no luck. Maybe mastodon will know...

Was the detector:

are you a boy or a girl

[ ] boy
[ ] girl
[ ] more powerful than you could ever imagine

Time for a choose your own adventure poll. Boost to share the story~

You find yourself outside an office building. Today is your big interview day and this office building contains one unfilled job unit. You are so excited your nail beds are sweating. Your interview is in an hour. How shall you prepare?

are you tube?

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dev.glitch.social

UNSTABLE BUT FRIENDLY

BE WARNED this instance will absolutely be unstable at times. It will 10000% be used for experimenting with settings and tweaks to Mastodon. So the place may experience outages, not federate reliably with the rest of the world, have posts go missing, or other technical faults. As such it's meant to be a chill, maybe kinda playful place. FOR BREAKING THE SOFTWARE. Time to see what we can do with this thing! Time to ˥∀IƆOS HƆ⊥I˥⅁

the code is here

This instance also has domain level blocks on numerous others, using the block list found here .

followbots from other instances will be blocked. please report them

Some rules

  • Do not engage in harassment of any kind.
  • Racist, sexist and other oppressive slurs will get you suspended, even in non-public conversations.
  • You can post porn and nudity, but you must use the nsfw flag and do not post on the public timeline or you will be silenced (ask around how to make unlisted posts)
  • try to be kind
  • no non-sentient bots until further notice
  • no shit that's illegal in Canada
  • animated gifs should always be marked sensitive/NSFW and identified as animated gifs (for now let's say just putting 'gif' in the text of the toot is sufficient), because they can cause serious problems for people

some guidelines

  • stuff here is impermanent but i still want this to be as safe a space as we can reasonably make it. let's keep common triggers and angry/ranty/grumpy toots behind CWs
  • free speech maximalists can kindly fuck off. there are instances where that is a priority. this is not one of them.
  • all languages are welcome!

the privacy stuff in the 'terms' isn't what it should be, but no time to change it yet. this instance's data will not be sold or traded or whatever.